My Birthday and James

Well today was my birthday. The big 5 - 0. While this breaking into a new decade was significant, like turning 13 or 16 or 20 it came with the sentiment of, "I can't believe I sound so old". For James however, what was important was there was another birthday in the house. Another cause for celebration. Gifts, cake and of course the "SURPRISE" moment. Cindy was busy in the kitchen preparing a great meal, my non-diet birthday fare and I was watching. James came into the kitchen to drag me out and pull me to wait in my room for the "SURPRISE". I will never get over how it is possible for him to derive great joy from a surprise that he is fully aware of. Joy comes so easy for him. At times for the rest of us we are bored with what has been or is and stay on this insatiable quest for something just that much more exciting. Not for James, repeat "surprises" work every time around. I was secured in my room with instructions to wait for him while he gathered his siblings into the dining room. He made sure they were crouched down behind the table and the dining room light was off. I then got the call to come in. And when I did everyone jumped up to yell "surprise" but the biggest smile and the greatest joy came from my little James who rushed up to give me a big hug. The birthday song began and James added his signature dance move with "cha-cha-cha" after each phrase. It truly was a great moment. James had taken us to the next level and we were having fun. Then it was time for the gifts. James on his own had gone to Mom's stash of gift bags and had his gift proudly prepared to present. I opened it up and discovered the plastic holder for the wet wipes. It was empty and purple and he and all of us knew what it was but it was something he found to give. If there ever was a time where it was "the thought that mattered" it was this. He was not going to come to the party empty handed so he found something to give and give it enthusiastically. He also took credit for all of the other gifts given by his siblings and his Mother. All in all it was a great night.

James truly did bring more joy than the rest of us would have thought to bring. He is a gift that continues to give us this joy.

PS. His autie Karen gave him a wallet with 17 dollar bills for Christmas. He has been big stuff carrying around his wallet and repeatedly counting his dollars. He took his sister Holly out on a "date" to McDonalds and enjoyed paying for their ice cream with "his money". This idea of money in a wallet had captured his fancy. Today when I went to put my wallet and money in my pocket I found the wallet but no money. I asked him if he had it. He had that look in his eye like he did not want to answer the question. Sometimes that means he really does not know, at other times it means he is guilty as charged and I really never know for sure. I did not have time to pursue the questioning because I was off to do a wedding. On the way home from the wedding I asked him if he knew where my money was. He took me down to Coco's room and began looking on the bed and in the closet. I asked if he had brought it downstairs. His answer, "no, detective". He was playing the part of the detective and was starting in Coco's room. The money is still missing. If he did take it we will find it when it turns up in his wallet or when we clean out his room. I will need to secure my cash with a bit more care from now on.

The Mystery Refrigerator

For about two months now Cindy has been asking me and the children if we have been turning off the refrigerator. James has been interrogated but somehow he could sense in his mother's voice that an admission to the crime implied by her tone would not be a good idea. Since it did not appear that anyone was turning off the refrigerator we thought maybe it was part of the new noises coming out of our old refrigerator. Maybe there was a mysterious explanation like the new noises caused enough vibration to move the dial around from cold to warm and warmest and then to off. While it seemed like a quite absurd idea, we had no other solution. Tonight while sitting in the living room with the family Coco went into the kitchen and returned to report that once again the refrigerator ghost has struck again. James had been in and out of the living room and had for sure been scoping out the food supply in the refrigerator. His mother faithfully informed him that supper was over and there would be no more helpings of chicken and rice. Coco insisted that it must be James who is turning off the refrigerator. I called James in and took a different approach. I asked James if he knew how to turn off the refrigerator. He hesitated and then I suggested that if he knew how would he please teach Coco how to turn it off. He very confidently marched into the kitchen as the expert and promptly gave his sister instruction on how to turn the refrigerator off. The mystery had been solved.

My next effort was to convince him that he must not keep doing this little trick. I tried to explain that if the refrigerator gets warm, Mom will have to throw away all of the chicken and he would surely not be able to snack. His auntie explained that he better not do that again or he would not have any chicken to eat. To which he replied an emphatic "WHAT?".

Time will tell if he understands the importance of this instruction but at least the mystery is solved once and for all.

My own "mamote"

One of James' favorite Christmas presents this year is his very own tv remote control. I finally had a stroke a genius and came up with an idea that hopefully will help us keep our remote in our room. James is always absconding with our remote. It is not so much that we are unwilling to share, but it seems that these remotes somehow find the "black hole" of tv remotes that is located in James' room. When Cindy feels it is time to do a deep cleaning and total re-organization of his room, we often find the missing remotes. The problem is we don't have time for the cleaning as often as we lose another remote. James loves his new remote control. I put his name on it so there is no confusion about which one is his. He is protective and very careful so far to keep his remote from the "black hole of tv remotes" in his room. All are happy. Christmas is great.

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve is a great time with the family. For James, family is everything. This year after meeting a real live Santa Claus at the Down Syndrome of the Ozarks Party James is convinced that Santa Claus is coming. He asked tonight during our meal "Ata Claus, Where!" We asked him what about Santa Claus? His answer was quick and to the point, "toys". Well one thing is certain. When he wakes up tomorrow there will be toys around the tree.

GO TO STORE!

James came home Tuesday very much in the Christmas spirit. When I got home he immediately asked me to take him to the store. James what do you want to buy at the store? "Whales and green chips and Sprite" I told him that maybe after the news I could take him. I really thought he would forget all about it but he did not. He came in dressed and ready to go and so off we went to the dollar store. We got our basket and after about a 20 minute walk down the toy aisle where all of the interesting toys got a good demonstration we went on to buy what he came for. In the mean time, I got some great ideas for a few more gifts for him. He loved the little plastic basketball game, the funny teeth, every ball in the store, the rifles that made a shooting noise and the recorder.

We found the aisle looking for "green" pringles his prevailing favorite chip. I told him he could get two of each item. We found the "Whales" (for those who don't know what Whales are, they are cheese crackers in the shape of whales). He knelt down and looked up at me and said, "one for me... " and put it in the basket. Then he got another box and said "one for...me again". And then with a hopeful look in his eyes, perhaps hoping to capitalize on the Christmas spirit in the air, he put a third box of whales in the basket and said, "three for...me". I had to play the scrooge and told him only two boxes. then I tried to get him to buy some off brand of Sprite. He would have none of that and ran up to the front of the stores to the cooler and pulled out Sprite. Two bottles of Sprite. Before I knew it he had gone up to the counter and was checking out. I ran after him and thanks to some money sent from Grandpa and Grandma in the Philippines he got to buy everything in his basket. He was one happy boy and is loving Christmas.

NO SHOT!

Wednesday I got James up and we started the "get ready for school routine". He was not particularly cooperative and did not want to go to school. This is not the first time he has been less than enthusiastic about getting up and going to school. Then he pulls out his secret weapon, "I sick". While this tactic is often effective in getting his Mom's sympathy and consequent investigation as to the true state of his health, I am not easily convinced. I am more inclined to believe that he is working me and so my response is more an effort to convince him how well he is. We are going to get dressed and we are going to get on that bus. There are things to do, schedules to keep, obligations to fulfill. A sick boy at home changes everything. I am more of the mindset that goes like this, "throw up and prove it if you are sick". And even then, I am not totally convinced. With my firm and salesman like response, I got him dressed and we had him on the bus and he was off.

Within the hour I got a call from his teacher at school. James is sick. He threw up all over his shirt and he is now lying down in the nurse's office. Can you please come and get him. So much for my parental discernment. I kind of felt like a heal for my insensitivity. I did go to school and there he was sick and wearing a borrowed "Missouri Lottery" t-shirt. He was quite enthusiastic about the new purple shirt and handed me the plastic bag containing the soiled shirt we had put on him an hour before. I walked out with my little guy and with a repentant and more sensitive attitude.

James was hot with fever and he was throwing up anything we gave him. Cindy continued her phone consultations with the doctor's office. They suggested that we go to the only other way of giving medicine and called in an order for a suppository. Cindy called me to come home because when James learned about this grossest of ideas; he was not going to allow it. Thankfully we all got through it and his fever did go down. But after 3 days it was time to take him to the doctor's office.

The doctor's office is full of great people from the receptionists to the nurses and nurse practitioner we saw. The swab to check for strep was a bit traumatic for our already very sick guy. He did ok and in a few minutes it came back positive. After a quick discussion about how to get the antibiotic's going we decided that since he could not swallow and keep things down the best approach was a shot.

When the nurse came in the room with the silver tray in hand and the shot clearly displayed James knew what was coming. He was not about to give in to this previously experienced pain in the name of healing. He used all of his opposition behaviors from crying, pulling away, and sitting on the floor. When he realized he was outnumbered he did stand up and the three of us held him down while the shot was administered. All the stickers in the office could not erase the pain and trauma but they did help.

Today, some 24 hours after the shot he is much better. I sat him down to drink his vitamins shake while I ate breakfast. We bowed our heads to pray. In my prayer I asked God to heal James and help him feel better. I also thanked God for the doctors and even the shot. Out of the corner of my half closed eyes I watched him. When I thanked God for the shot, he quickly turned his head toward me in amazement. Why was Dad thanking God for a shot? He cried out, "No shot. No shot ever again." I tried my best to recite the benefits of fast acting inject able antibiotics but he would not be convinced.

Thankfully, James is much better. After three days of not wanting to eat or drink he is clearly improving. He was asking for chicken and rice and even requested that I go buy some "whales".

Limousine

James has long been fascinated with limousines. I think he has seen them on television and things they are pretty cool. When we see them in traffic they always get his attention and start his imagination thinking about riding in one. When DJ and Sarah Kelley got married, one of the decorations at the reception was a match box car limousine. DJ knowing about James' fascination with them gave him the toy to take home. It is one he loves to play with.

The other day he told me that he was going to go on a date in a limousine. While we do our best to downplay any kind of dating ideas, they are a part of life and have not been ignored by our little guy. When I asked who he was going on a date with he answered "my girlfriends". Girlfriends, I responded. How many girlfriends do you have? He responded quite confidently, "twinny (twenty)". So that's why you need a limousine. I guess as long as he has twenty girlfriends that sounds more like a group of friends than a date. Friends are good. The limousine? Who knows, maybe someday.