MyBopsBlog: April 2009

Monday, April 20, 2009

Woman!

The other day Cindy went to James' school to pay for his lunches. When she got to the lunch room and told one lady she wanted to pay for James Lyons' lunches she lit up and called all of the other ladies out to meet "James' Mom". They told her how much they loved James. He apparently provides some good entertainment. He is probably at his best at lunch because James loves to eat. The ladies ask Cindy if she had ever seen "the chicken dance". Cindy responded that she had not. So they proceeded to demonstrate that because James loves chicken so much, when that is what they are serving he does this celebratory jig.

They also went on to ask if she knew that James had a girlfriend. She was aware of this since notes are regularly exchanged and brought home in his back pack. They told her that lately he had been buying ice cream. And he even buys ice cream for his "girlfriend". And he calls her "WOMAN!" and then gives her the present.

James is at least two heads shorter than his WOMAN. His confidence level is off the charts. He has no insecurities to get him down. He does not care that the girl he likes is two heads taller or that she might reject him. I never had such confidence when in Jr. High School. I was too shy to talk to the girl two heads taller than me no matter how pretty she was or how much I liked her. I was too worried about being too unlikeable.

What a great thing to have this kind of moxie in Jr. High. We are however doing what we can to discourage the budding romance. We feel like he would be better served by math and reading.

That's My Car

The other night James and I were on our way to see "Hotels for Dogs". As we stopped at a light this white mustang convertible with the top down pulled up beside us. James had been pretty occupied with his drawing but he popped his head up and declared, "THAT'S MY CAR". What do you mean James. "THAT'S MY CAR". I asked him if he meant the car beside us. He insisted again, "THAT'S MY CAR". "DIAL 911 THEY GOT MY CAR". This little guy has great taste in cars. In his mind "his car" would not be the boring minivan, sedan or vanilla Taurus his Mom and Dad drive. His car would be a cool Mustang convertible. Well, to him the world is his and all of his dreams can be as true as ever.

First Entry

When our fifth child was born, Cindy and I embarked on a new journey that was not something we would have chosen.

We were expecting our fifth child and we knew it was a boy. When you are expecting a baby there are so many hopes and dreams for that child. We had chosen the name James for our baby. I love the name James. There is something very classic and dignified about it. There are more American presidents with this name than any other name. In the NT James wrote one of my favorite books and was the half brother of Jesus. Naming a child carries many hopes and expectations for his future. Fathers dream of their sons growing up and doing something of great significance. With these thoughts in mind, we had our name ready.

On July 1 James was born. They brought the baby out and I unwrapped him to count toes and fingers and make sure all was ok. Several hours later the anesthesia from the c-section was wearing off and Cindy asked to see our little guy. The nurse brought him in and handed him to me. I held him up for Cindy to see. She stroked his forehead and then asked, "Eddie, is he ok?". I assured her that he was fine. I had counted toes and fingers and they were all there. Then she said, "He just doesn't look like the other children." I felt this dagger go through my heart. She saw something that I had not. Even as I tried to assure her that her fears were unfounded, I knew that a mother's intuition is something that is not to be ignored. They took James back to the nursery.

Later that day we had the moment with our doctor all parents pray will never come. The door opened, our pediatrician walked in. The spirit in the room changed. The gate of her step, the tone of her voice and her demeanor alerted me that something was wrong. I asked if everything was ok. She responded that the baby was doing well, and then the pause. It was a pause that lasted forever, one that you felt in the depths of your soul. "The baby is doing well...but, there is something we need to talk about." And then the news we all pray we will never hear. "I think your baby has Down Syndrome."

Our lives changed forever that day. Having a special needs child is not a problem that gets resolved and then goes away. It is a heaviness, a burden, a challenge, a set of life time limitations, a fog of uncertainty that is never going to go away.

There is so much more to say about those first few days. That will be for another post. What we did not know, that we know now, is that with special challenges also come special joys. Within this world of imperfection and struggle are some very fun times. The truth is that God has and continues to teach me so many things through my special James.

I have learned that an infinite God does not just love the smart and perfect.
I have learned that love for a child is not more because one is smarter than the other.
I have also learned that you can be both retarded (it took me a long time to accept that word in reference to my son) and smart at the same time.
I have learned that there is a special charm that goes with special characteristics of a special kid.

I have called this "MyBopsBlog" because up until James was 11 years old, he referred to himself as "Bops". He learned to write his name in school. J-A-M-E-S, written on his paper and we would ask, what does that say? He would answer with great confidence "Bops". He would introduce himself "Hi, I Bops." Somehow, I always found it so charming. This year, "Bops" has given way to "James". Even though our little guy is growing up and can now say the name we chose for him, "Bops" will always have a special place in my heart.

He is always coming up with cute and fun statements. I hope to share some of those on this blog.

MyBopsBlog

Monday, April 20, 2009

Woman!

That's My Car

James Lyons

First Entry

Eddie Lyons

Stats

Blog Archive

Contributors