Monday, December 6, 2010

Today's School Project "James Christmas List"

Today James brought home his school project. It was his Christmas list made from cut out magazine pictures. He came bouncing in my room with said project in hand ready to tell me all about it. I asked him what was on his Christmas list. He pointed out his name first, "J A M E S". "That's me, James." Then we began to review his photos. So you want a Buzz Light Year. Yep he did. He also wants a lap top and a new car - a mustang. There were other predictable things on his list like a guitar and drums. He has visions of becoming a rock star and we regularly hear him playing, dancing, singing and drumming in his room. He also wanted a pizza, and a hamburger. Both also quite predictable. He loves food. He hates to go shopping unless he is going with his Mom to "buy food". He loves the "popcorn chicken" at Walmart and we can hardly get out of there without at least an emotional appeal for some to take home. All of those things did not surprise me. Two items did surprise me. One was a picture of a dog. James has this kind of love hate relationship with dogs. He thinks they are so fascinating but he is scared of them. That was an interesting addition to a predictable list. But what most surprised me was a picture of a girl. I asked what that was. He said "a girl". My response was, "James you want a girl for Christmas?" To this he confidently replied, "Yep a girl." Times are changing for my 14 year old freshman. His teachers have recently reported that when he helps in the school store he is known to ask the girls "call me". Life is never boring with James. He has already added a new flair to Christmas for us.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Its Mismass

It was a Saturday and James and I made our way to the local Walmart to pick up a few things. The moment we got in the door we were confronted with a Christmas tree and the newly placed Christmas decorations. James turned to me and said, "Dad, check it out, Missmass." And from there James began his Christmas list. We first ran into a display with Toy Story 3. He said, "Dad, mobie, Toy Story my Missmass present." And then behind that we saw the toys for the movie. He wanted Woody, Buzz Lightyear, Jessie. All of these he said "my Missmass present". I pulled him away from that and he discovered the trunks in the aisle and had to check them out as well. He told me that would he needed a trunk to put his new presents in. Before we made it to the electronics section he had a couple hundred dollars worth of requests. In the electronics area he picked out a few more movies a Wii and a 52 inch "flat screen for my room". With each new find came the the statement, "My Missmass present". And so thanks to our local store, MISSMASS has began for James.It is easy for us to kind of live life like James shops. We begin to think that life is all about getting everything we want. The truth is that Christmas was all about God giving us what we needed most, a Savior.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Signed Baseball


It was going to be a big day for us. Our youngest child James had been selected to throw out the first pitch to famed baseball player Albert Pujols of the St. Louis Cardinals. He had been selected because Albert was working with the local Down Syndrome Association, and James is a Down Syndrome kid.
We all wondered how he would do, but that day he was in his “play to the crowd” mood. When asked to, he walked off with the Cardinals officials to meet Albert Pujols. We could see him talking up a storm and pointing to his family all standing against the fence. Albert waved to us a couple of times, and then he asked James to “fire away.”
He ran all the way to the pitchers mound, waved to the cheering crowd and then, with great confidence, wound up and threw the ball. The pitch didn’t quite make it to home plate, but Mr. Pujols ran, scooped it up off the grass, and went to congratulate James. He then signed the ball and handed it to James.
Being a good father, I immediately took the signed ball away from James for “safe keeping.” I bought the nice acrylic stand and proudly displayed it in my office at home. One Sunday evening when I came home from church, my other son, Robert, told me James had gone into my office and had taken the signed ball out of its case. Since Albert Pujols had signed the ball, James decided he should add his signature to my prized ball. My reaction was a mixture of anger, frustration and great disappointment.
I had to do some emotional processing. After all, it was James' ball. I had kind of hijacked it. It actually makes perfect sense to a little guy to sign a ball that already had a signature. Then I realized that while this ball may have lost some of its value, signed as it was by one of baseball’s all-time great players, it now told the whole story much better. It no longer would sit on my shelf as a perfect collectible, but in its imperfect state, its value was more personal now. It is the story of the great value of the imperfect.


Cindy and I chose the name James for our baby when he was born fourteen years ago. There is something very classic and dignified about that name. Several American presidents wore the name. In the New Testament, James wrote one of my favorite books, and he was the half brother of Jesus. It is a significant name. As parents, we dream of our sons growing up and doing something of great significance, and we had our name ready.

On July 1, James was born. After the anesthesia from her surgery was wearing off, Cindy asked to see our little guy. The nurse brought him in and handed him to me. I held him up for Cindy to see. She stroked his forehead and then asked, “Eddie, is he okay?”
I assured her he was fine. Then she said, “He just doesn't look like the other children.” I felt this dagger go through my heart. She saw something that I had not. Even as I tried to assure her that her fears were unfounded, I knew a mother's intuition is something that is not to be ignored. They took James back to the nursery.
Later that day we had the moment with our doctor all parents pray will never come. The door opened, our pediatrician walked in. Her gait, her tone, her demeanor – all said something was wrong. She said James was doing well, and then came the pause – a pause that lasted forever. “The baby is doing well - - - but there is something we need to talk about. I think your baby has Down Syndrome.”
Our lives changed forever that day. Having a special needs child is a problem without resolution. The news brings a heaviness, a burden, a challenge, a set of life long limitations, a fog of uncertainty that is never going to go away.
What we did not know, that we know now, is that with special challenges also come special joys. Within this world of imperfection and struggle are some very fun times. The baseball with double signatures represents some of these great times. The truth is that God has and continues to teach me so many things through my special James.
I have learned that an infinite God does not just love the smart and perfect. As a father, my love for my children does not increase or decrease with their intelligence or talents. Likewise, God’s love is not contingent on perfection. None of us is perfect, but all of us are deeply valued and loved by God.
I have also learned that you can be both retarded (it took me a long time to accept that word in reference to my son) and smart at the same time. While we are all imperfect, we do have something to offer God and each other.

1 Corinthians 1:27-29 says God has chosen the foolish things, the weak things, the base things and the despised things, “that no flesh should glory in His presence.” And so the truth is that imperfect gifts are where God does some of His most amazing things. My son James is a living testament to this truth.

Hundred Dollar Bill

One school morning James was dressed and ready for school. I was shooing him out to the front porch before the bus arrived when he peaked his head out of the hall and say, "Dad, money." I answered, James come out here right now the bus is coming and I don't have money. There was a long silent pause and then he bolted down the hall just in time to meet the bus pulling up. I eventually made my way back to my bedroom and noticed that my wallet was open and some of the things inside were scattered beside it on the dresser. I began to put things back together when I decided to look in the back fold to make sure my secret hundred dollar bill was still there. It was gone. My concern was that I might have bought the most expensive can of Sprite out of the high school pop machine. Now I hate to sound cheap but that is a lot of money. I jumped in the car and went to find James. I found James in his classroom busy about his work. I asked if he had taken my money. He nodded yes and patted his pants pocket. I asked him to show me the money. Sure enough he pulled out my hundred dollar bill. He was not so happy when I tried took the bill from him and tried to explain that it as a lot of money. I said, James this is a hundred dollar bill. He looked up at me with a puzzled look and saind "rehundred?"I said yes, one hundred and I can't leave it with you. Don't worry, after taking the money back he had a great week with ice cream money coming much more often than most most weeks.

Waterboy


After a long silence I have decided to return to my blog about James. This school year James started at Hillcrest High School as perhaps the most excited freshman student I have ever been around. Throughout the summer he woke up everyday asking if today was the day that he would go to High School. The school year finally began and James was a very happy boy. He is full of hopes and dreams. He wants to drive, go to college, get a job and get married. I pretty much have decided not to discourage his dreaming. Who knows what is ahead. One of his dreams as he entered high school was to be on the football team like his brother Robert. With great confidence he boasted all summer that he would be on the football team. It seemed like this might be one of the first dreams to not be fulfilled. And then one day when I dropped him off at school his teacher asked to talk to me outside of the class. That is always a kind of mixed emotion moment when a teacher needs to talk to you. The teacher's question was "do you think James would want to be a waterboy for the football team?" He would get a football jersey to wear and would in fact be down on the field to help. I told her that he would love it. And he has loved his new role. He has often insisted that he be introduced as James the waterboy. Some of the football players tutor in his class during the week. They are all so kind to him. And so James continues to dream. And we are glad to be along for the ride and rejoice with him each step of the way.